The Day He Almost Left
I knelt down. I cried. I begged. Call me desperate and pathetic if these are the words to describe what I did. I do not care. But I know I did nothing wrong. The only thing I did is to do everything to make him stay.
Days.. No. Months have already passed since that day.
May 14, 2012. But its damage, it is still here. I'd never forget that day. The day when the most important man in my life almost gave up the
first woman he loved. After being together for more than 5 long years, he said he is not YET ready. But what's even worse? Face-to-face, he said he doesn't love me anymore. And he would prefer to die rather than fix the relationship we have.
Upon hearing those words, I just wanted to die
in an instant. My mind can't just digest what I've just heard. It was more painful than being stabbed by a knife several times on my heart. It was the most painful feeling I've ever felt in my entire life. I just wanted to melt. And disappear.. forever.
For five years, we hid our relationship from my parents. I've chose him over the church. We had this hate-love relationship but I fought as hard as I can. I did all the means. I took all the risks. I never gave up.. just like what he just did. That's how much I love him.
We have been together for a very long time. We have started out as high school enemies, then friends and then young sweet hearts then couples who dreamt to be together for the rest of our lives. We have made our plans and built our dreams together. Our wedding date, honeymoon place, number of children.. these are all set.. we happily prayed for it all. And in just one day, they are all gone.
Pride? I used to have a great amount of that. And look what I am right now? A person who let go of her dignity and pride. I was always the one who he tries to calm. He was always the giving and forgiving one. Suddenly, I was the one who was running after him. Everything turn into its reverse. I didn't even see it coming.
I got down on my knees in front of him. I was crying while begging him to stay. But he is firm with his decision. I can see his strong dislike on his eyes towards me. His eyes were so cold but at the same time flaring, filled with fire of anger. I have never seen him been like that ever before. I have felt so rejected. His stare full of wrath.. so despised. Nothing hurts more than being disliked by the most important man of my life.
Friday, July 20, 2012 (11:28 PM)
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