March 12, 2014

3:19 pm

I hate myself for being miserable. I hate myself for crying myself to sleep at night and for waking up in the morning with my eyes still wet with tears. I hate the thought of you leaving me here, alone and shattered.

I hate the beautiful memories we had with each other. I hate how I knew I am going to miss you. I hate each thing we did together for I know I have to do it alone now. I hate how each place we have been to will leave a trace of you, of us.

I hate how you take care of me. I hate how you protected. I hate how you were always by my side in everywhere that I go, in everything that I do. I hate how we pray together at night. I hate how I give you a kiss of good luck. I hate how we beat each other at Karaoke Hubs. Because I know those things are not going to happen again. And those beautiful memories are now so painful to look back to.

I hate how I loved staring at your face. I hate how I loved your scent. I hate how your hands feel when your fingers were entwined with mine. I hate how your embrace makes me feel secured. I hate how your kiss gives butterflies in my tummies.

I hate how I got used into your presence. I hate how I believed that you are never going to leave. I hate how I believed that you will always stay by my side. I hate how I believed that I was also a part of your plans. I hate that I loved everything about you, about us, because now you are about to leave.

In no time, I will be on my own again. Yet, again.