Beginning Of The Ending?
"Gerome: Mahal bat parang may nag-iba sayo?"
I didn't say a thing. But yes. There is. This is just the beginning of the many changes we're going through. And if we will not be able to find a solution in this problem, I'm afraid that this would also be the beginning of our relationship's ending. I hope our forever wouldn't end this way.
Saturday, January 21, 2012 (8:28 AM)
Do you remember?
Do you still remember the first time you told me that you love me? How about our first date? Our first kiss? It's the most wonderful feeling I've ever felt in my entire existence. It's simply magical.
Do you still remember how you make me feel so special before? To the point that you would do anything, I mean everything, just to make me happy. Just to make me smile.
Do you still remember how you put on so much effort to show how you love me? Do you still remember how you don't want to see me cry? Do you still remember how you treat me like a princess? Do you?
I want to go back to those pages of our journey of being together. Back to the pages when we're still beginning to write our love story. The time when we're still excited about how we will spend our everyday together. The moments when I can't sleep because you were running on my mind all night. The moment when I still feel that I'm the most important person in your life.
But I'm afraid that those moments fade away with time. All that is left now are memories. Memories soon we'll forget.
Labels: love, sad
Friday, January 20, 2012 (11:46 AM)
Nation Transformers Conference
I went to this church-related conference yesterday entitled Nation Transformers in Cuneta Astrodome Pasay. It was hosted by the History Makers of Jesus Christ The Life Give Ministry. At first, I do not want to go with them since I do not want to wake up very early. But they have succeeded convincing me and went there together with my mom, my sister, my cousin and some of my sister's classmates.
It became stressful, well at most to me, on our way to Cuneta because of the large crowd in MRT platform. They are all waiting for the train to come, just like what we were doing. But everytime the train comes, only two to three people were able to enter the Train since there another set of a large crowd inside. It was impossible for us to enter the train since three trains already passed us and yet the line only moved by one step. I repeat, the one step. It's ridiculous.We were running late. Also, I was stressed by the thought of riding the train with people only a few centimeters away from me.
After another couple of minutes, we have decided to ride a bus instead and waste the money my mom spent for the ticket. Bad mood. But, even though how bad I felt at that moment, I remained calm. As if everything's okay. We arrived at almost 11:00 in the morning at the place only to find out that no seats were available for us to sit. I did not know how to react. I was having headache because of the traffic and then no seat? Great, yeah!
But you know what? God touched my heart and changed my mood. I saw all the people praying and singing praises to God. It's been 2 months since I last attended church services/activities. Not long after, I found myself singing too. I miss that kind place. I miss that kind of feeling. I miss God. What an unexplainable feeling I have felt! I know it was God. It was Him.
I love all the preachers and their messages. But I love Pastor Chinkee Tan the most! He is an Ilocano-Chinese Pastor who travels a lot to preach the Word in exchange of nothing in return. He does not earn any money with it. He is just doing it all for God. His message were all striking. He is so funny. Really funny promise. I did nothing but laugh in his entire talk. He is so cute.
Acel Bisa, lead of Moonstar88, and Yeng Constantino were in the conference too! I was really overwhelmed when Yeng went up to the stage. All the people where shouting. The rock star was really a surprise to us. Like Yeng's mentor, Acel, she shared her own testimony too. She was inspiring.
The conference ended 7:00 pm. At the time we were already very tired yet blessed. It was a really awesome day. It was a perfect year-ender event!
Labels: Church, God
Thursday, December 22, 2011 (1:48 PM)
When Two Important Women Of His Life Finally Met
Yesterday, I was invited by Gerome's mom into their house at around 4:30 in the aftrenoon since he told his mother that I was all alone. Honestly, I felt so nervous upon hearing the invitation. Gerome's sister even tried to call me. But I missed the call. I just can't decide if I was to go or not. We did not meet yet. So, it will be the first time. In the end, I accepted the invitation.
Gah, I felt the nervousness running down my nerves. Do I look beautiful today? Am I too skinny? Is my dress okay? Would she like me as a person? Would she like me for her son? Those where some of the questions I asked myself out of a total panicky moment. It was 6:00 in the evening when I finished preparing myself. "I have to look simple yet beautiful," I uttered to myself. I don't need to impress her. I just have to be myself.
Gerome picked me up at Ali Mall and we went straight to their house. I can't explain what I was feeling during that very moment. I can feel my own heart beat pounding fast, very fast. It didn't slow down. It pound even faster as we reached their front door.
I thought I was going to faint in any moment. My body was kind of shaking. I felt so cold. Until I met her mom face-to-face. We kissed each other cheek-to-cheek as she greeted me hello. The coldness of my whole body slowly faded as I felt the warmth of his mom's acceptance towards me.
She introduced me to Gerome's half siblings before we proceed to Gemmie's room. There, I felt more comfortable as we share stories about life. She even gave me a bag as her pasalubong from Qatar. Gemmie phoned Jollibee for our dinner. We had dinner on the floor, the Qatar way.
I was so wrong thinking that his mom is snob and intimidation. She is indeed the opposite. She is so warm and jolly. She is fun to be with. She is cool and kind. She makes you comfortable with her. She makes you feel at ease. She's just so kind. Most especially, she is like my mom.
I was just so happy that I felt so accepted and comfortable. And now, I'm looking forward for many other meetings with her mom. She's just so kind.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011 (9:01 PM)
Dagdag ka pa!
Wag mo ko tatanungin kong anong problema kung di mo rin naman pla iintindihin. Dagdag ka pa!
Friday, October 21, 2011 (11:24 PM)
Sobrang Lungkot
Sobrang lungkot ko ngayon. Sa sobrang lungkot ko di ko na alam kung sasabihin ko. Wala kong gana sa lahat ng bagay. Sobrang nalulungkot ako. SOBRA. Ayoko ng gantong pakiramdam. Please? Sana matapos na ang 10 days. Sana 2nd week na ng November. Ayoko nito. Ayoko ng gantong sitwasyon. Please? Masakit eh. :'(
Tama Na Grace, Mukha Ka Ng Tanga
Natapos na ang buong maghapon ng paghihintay sa espesyal na araw ngayon. Wala pala talaga. Kahit isang "Hi" lang o "Kumusta?" Wala pala talagang surpresa o kahit anong ineexpect kong mangyayari ngayon mula sa kanya. Wala pala talaga. Wala na nga siguro. Titigil na ko sa kakaasa. Tama na. Mukha na kong tanga. :'(
Kung kaya niya, kakayanin ko rin. Kakayanin ko, toh. Kung kayang kaya niya na ko tiisin at di na niya ko ganun ka mahal, sige. Okay lang. Kakayanin ko toh. Issulat ko na yung letter na ginawa ko kanina. Ipapabigay ko na bukas. Wala na pala talaga eh. Ang sakit umasa sa wala. Di na niya siguro talaga ako mahal. :'(
Again, Happy Monthsary To Myself! Sakit na ng ulo ko sa kakaiyak. :((
Labels: broken, monthsary
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 (7:55 PM)
I Love You, Goodbye
Dear Gerome,
Una sa lahat, maraming salamat. Malaki pasasalamat ko sa Diyos nung dumating ka sa buhay ko. Hindi ko inakalang may magmamahal sakin ng gaya ng pagmamahal mo. Sobrang saya ko nung dumating ka. Dun ko napatunayan, na hindi lahat ng lalaki parepareho. Na hindi lahat ng lalaki, kagaya ng tatay ko. Minahal mo ko ng higit pa sa sarili mo. Ginagawa mo ang lahat mapasaya mo lang ako. Inalagaan, pinagsilbihin mo ko sa loob ng mahigit apat na taon. Sobrang swerte ko sayo.
Pero may mga bagay pala talagang hindi panghabang buhay. Masakit man, kailangan ko na lang tanggapin na wala na. Masakit man isipin, wala akong magawa kasi alam kong kasalanan ko rin naman. Masyado kong naging harsh sayo. Masyado kong inabuso ang pagmamahal mo.
Nakita ko naman kaya mo na. Okay na sakin yun. Wala akong kahit anong sama ng loob sayo, promise. Gusto ko lang maging masaya ka. At sana pagnakita mo na yung babaeng para talaga sayo, sana hindi ka niiya saktan gaya ng mga sakit na naranasan mo habang tayo.
Sorry. Sorry kung hindi ako naging isang mabuting girlfriend sayo. Sorry kung sarili ko nalang lagi iniisip ko. Sa maraming beses, nasabihan kita ng mga masasakit na salita. May panahon pang namura kita. Sorry kung sa bawat kilos mo, nagtatampo ako. Sorry kung ang daming demands sayo, tapos pag di ko nakuha nagagalit ako. Sorry kung ang dami kong expectations. Sorry, alam kong sobrang nasaktan na kita. Sorry kung bumaba yung tingin mo sa pagkatao mo. Siguro sobrang sama ng loob mo sakin ngayon. Sana mapatawad mo ko. Sorry talaga.
Hindi ko alam pano ko makakabayad sa lahat ng sakit na naiparamdam ko sayo. Ang tanging paraan nalang na alam ko ay tuluyang umalis sa buhay mo. Para di na mas lumalim pa ang sakit. Dahil kahit ano sigurong gawin nating ayos, ang sira na, sira na. Ayusin man natin, masisira't masisira parin.
Limang araw na simula nung naghiwalay tayo. Inaamin ko, sa limang araw na yun umaasa ako na baka may text ka sa cellphone ko o missed call. Pati sa facebook lagi kong chine-check na baka online ka. Kung sinosino pinagtatanungan ko para lang malaman kung pumasok ka. Tuwing paggising ko, umiiyak ako. Bago matulog, ganun parin. Wala naman kasi akong ibang pwedeng gawin kundi umiyak nalang. Sa limang araw na yun, nakita kong kaya mo. Kasi dati oras lang ang lumipas, hindi mo na ko kayang tiisin. Tatawag ka kaagad. Pero siguro nga ganun na kalalim yung sakit na naramdaman mo sakin. Sabi mo nga "Di ka pa ready mag-girlfriend nung niligawan mo ko."
Ayoko ng guluhin ka pa. Ayoko ng mas masaktan ka pa. Kaya siguro mas mabuti na nga yung ganito. Pero gusto kong malaman mo na, hindi man ako naging mabuting girlfriend sayo, minahal kita ng buong-buo. Minahal kita sa paraan na alam ko. Pinangarap ko na ikaw na makasama ko sa habang buhay ko. Pinangarap ko na magkaroon ng maraming magagandang alaala kasama ka at makasama ka hanggang sa pagtanda. Pero mukhang hindi tayo yung laan para sa isa't-isa. Masakit man, pero siguro kailangan tanggapin ko nalang. Para sa mas ikabubuti nating dalawa.
Mahal na mahal kita. Wala kong pinagsisisihang nakilala kita. Maraming maraming salamat sa apat na taon at walong buwan n naging bahagi ka ng buhay ko. Hindi kita makakalimutan, habang buhay. Buh-bye. :'(
I love you,
Grace
Labels: broken, farewell, farewell letter, iloveyouforever, sorry
Umasa At Naghintay Sa Wala
Ang sakit kapag ang tagal tagal mong naghihintay pero wala namang dumating o nagparamdam. Pero mas masakit pala yung alam mo sa umpisa palang na walang darating pero naghihintay ka parin. Yung feeling ng pilit mong kinukumbinsi yung sarili mo na baka naman magkaroon ng himala at dumating siya. Pero in the end, mukha ka lang tanga.
Hinintay ko talaga mag-12am ngayon. Actually, past 1:00 am na nga eh. Pero naghihintay parin ako. Monthsary kasi namin ngayon. Malay mo, maghimala at bigla siyang makaalala. Pero pinagmumukha ko lang tanga sarili ko. Alam ko naman kasing wala talaga, pero bat ganun umaasa parin ako. Malay mo, maalala niya ko. :'(
Siguro kapag di pa siya nagparamdam ng buong araw bukas, made-declare ko na wala na talaga officially. Wala akong magagawa. Siguro dapat tanggapin ko nalang talaga. Ganto siguro talaga. Minsan may mga bagay na for temporary lang sa buhay mo. Masakit lang kung masyado mong pinanghawakan at minahal yun sa pagaakalang may pag-asang maging permanente ito sa buhay mo.
Happy Monthsary To Myself! :'(
Labels: broken, monthsary, sad
Sana Ako Rin.
Monthsary namin bukas. Bago kami magbreak, plano namin pumunta ng MegaMall tapos manood ng "No Other Woman", tapos lilibre niya daw ako sa greenwich. Tapos maglalakad lakad. Kaso, wala na. Hindi na matutuloy yun. :'(
Sobrang lungkot ko ngayon. Araw-araw umaasa akong magpaparamdam siya. Oras-oras tinitingnan ko yung cellphone ko, chine-check ko kung nagparamdam na ba siya. Lagi kong tinitingnan kung online siya sa Facebook. Pero lalo lang ako nalulungkot. Kasi umaasa lang ako sa wala. :'(
Siguro nga, mas masaya na siya sa ganto. Siguro nga mas peaceful na siya dahil wala na yung babaeng laging nang-aaway sa kanya, nagtatampo at yung babaeng nagdedemand ng kung ano-ano sa kanya. Siguro mas masaya na buhay niya ngayon. Wala na siyang problema at wala na siyang pproblemahin pa. Siguro nga mas mabuti na toh.
Pero bat ganun. Di ko mapigilang malungkot. Di ko mapigilan na mamiss ko siya. Nahihirapan na ko ng sobra. Sana ako rin katulad niya, sana ako rin kayang kayang tiisin siya. :'(
Labels: broken, sad
Tuesday, October 11, 2011 (10:44 PM)
Nagpapanggap Na Okay Ang Lahat
Akala ng iba okay ka. Akala nila wala kang problema. Pero sa loob mo, gustong gusto ng sumabog. Kahit anong gawin mong iyak di kayang bawasan yung sakit na nararamdaman mo. Gustong gusto mo na sumigaw. Yung di mo na alam yung gagawin mo dahil sa bigat ng loob mo.
Yung gusto mong ipaalam sa iba kung gaano ka nasasaktan ngayon pero di mo magawa. Di mo kasi alam kung maiintindihan ka ba nila o kung iintindihin ka nila. Di mo rin alam kung pano mo sisimulan ang kwento dahil hindi kayang tapatan ng kahit anong salita kung gaano kabigat ang nararamdaman mo ngayon. Kaya nasa isang tabi ka nalang, nagpapanggap na okay ang lahat.
Gusto ko.
Gusto kong ibalik ang lahat ng kung anong meron tayo dati.
Monday, October 10, 2011 (5:14 PM)
Where's Love?
Mahal pa nga ba namin ang isa't isa? Matatawag pa nga ba kaming mag-girlfriend/boyfriend or label nalang ito samin? Ano ba talaga estado namin ngayon? Gulong-gulo na ko sa nararamdaman ko.
Lagi kami magkasama sa school. Lagi kami magkausap sa phone. We date. We kiss. We hug. We say "I love you." Pero yan lang ba talaga ang ibig sabihin ng magboyfriend/girlfriend? Na lagi kaming magkasama? Yan lang ba talaga.
There's something missing. There's something I'm longing for. Something I want to hear. Something I want to feel. Something deeper than we have now. Something I can't explain nor distinguish.
Where's the love? Porket ba lagi kaming magkasama, that means we love each other? Where's love? I'm longing for it. Where's love? Where's that love we used to have? Where's that laughter we used to share. Where is it? I'm dying to feel it. I'm dying to have it. I'm desperate. So desperate of that love I felt from long ago. That love which is now, I guess, buried to forget.
I am so broken.
Labels: broken, desperate, love, sad
What If?
Mahal pa ba namin talaga ang isa't-isa? What if hindi na? What if we're just blinded by a lie that we still do? What if nadadala lang kami ng sobrang tagal ng relasyon namin? What if takot lang pala kami mawala ang isa't-isa dahil sa sobrang tagal namin? What if hindi ko na pala talaga siya mahal? What if di na pala niya ko mahal? What if?
Labels: broken, sad
Sunday, October 9, 2011 (2:52 PM)
His Mom's Coming Home
His mom is coming home on the 20th of this month. Unfortunately, that's also the debut of Alida. Where to go? Am I attending that party alone? I don't know.
She said she have to fix some legal issues in the court regarding the changing of her name since she is a muslim now. I hope that nothing would be different during the come back of his mom. Unlike what had happened from her come back a year ago where I felt completely useless and unimportant. I hope so.
Saturday, October 8, 2011 (2:56 PM)
When Two Important Women Of His Life Finally Met
Yesterday, I was invited by Gerome's mom into their house at around 4:30 in the aftrenoon since he told his mother that I was all alone. Honestly, I felt so nervous upon hearing the invitation. Gerome's sister even tried to call me. But I missed the call. I just can't decide if I was to go or not. We did not meet yet. So, it will be the first time. In the end, I accepted the invitation.
Gah, I felt the nervousness running down my nerves. Do I look beautiful today? Am I too skinny? Is my dress okay? Would she like me as a person? Would she like me for her son? Those where some of the questions I asked myself out of a total panicky moment. It was 6:00 in the evening when I finished preparing myself. "I have to look simple yet beautiful," I uttered to myself. I don't need to impress her. I just have to be myself.
Gerome picked me up at Ali Mall and we went straight to their house. I can't explain what I was feeling during that very moment. I can feel my own heart beat pounding fast, very fast. It didn't slow down. It pound even faster as we reached their front door.
I thought I was going to faint in any moment. My body was kind of shaking. I felt so cold. Until I met her mom face-to-face. We kissed each other cheek-to-cheek as she greeted me hello. The coldness of my whole body slowly faded as I felt the warmth of his mom's acceptance towards me.
She introduced me to Gerome's half siblings before we proceed to Gemmie's room. There, I felt more comfortable as we share stories about life. She even gave me a bag as her pasalubong from Qatar. Gemmie phoned Jollibee for our dinner. We had dinner on the floor, the Qatar way.
I was so wrong thinking that his mom is snob and intimidation. She is indeed the opposite. She is so warm and jolly. She is fun to be with. She is cool and kind. She makes you comfortable with her. She makes you feel at ease. She's just so kind. Most especially, she is like my mom.
I was just so happy that I felt so accepted and comfortable. And now, I'm looking forward for many other meetings with her mom. She's just so kind.
Labels: boyfriend, family
Sunday, October 2, 2011 (9:01 PM)
Aspiring Photographer
My first experimental shot using my Samsung PL20.
I always dream of becoming a professional photographer someday. And I'm so excited of my DSLR on December or January. I hope I could really earn enough to buy my dream Nikon D500. I'm so excited!
Friday, September 30, 2011 (12:26 PM)
It's All About The New
Blessings are pouring out on me. God is really showing His Grace to me. Thank you, Lord. I've already get my monthly wage in GA which causes $318.60 USD or 13,650.00 Pesos. Though, I gave the 4,500 to my mom, and 1,000 to my sister. Because for me, the more I share my blessings, the more I become blessed.
I bought a new camera as a replacement to my 5 MegaPixels EPIC Digital Camera which I never bring to school. HAHA! I bought the Samsung PL20, a 14.2 MP camera, which causes 6,000 Pesos. At last! Another thing I've bought is a pair of floral shoes. It's really fulfilling to buy things with your own money. Here's the peek of it:
Thursday, September 29, 2011 (10:02 PM)
Sorry Na Nga Ba?
Hindi na bago sating lahat ang salitang “SORRY NA.” Kadalasan, yan ang paboritong linya lalo na ng mga in a relationship. Pero, alam pa nga ba natin ang tunay na kahulugan ng sorry? O masyado na nga bang naabuso ang salitang ito?
MAY 2 URI NG TAONG NAGSOSORRY.
1. Sorry na para tapos na ang problema. Ito yung pagsosorry na ang dahilan lang ay matapos na ang problema at magkaayos na. Yung pagsosorry na hindi naman bukal sa loob pero alam mong kailangan mo magsorry para wala ng gulo. At higit sa lahat nagsosorry ka lang para lang masabing nagsorry ka, dahil kailangan e. O dahil pag hindi ka nagsorry, hindi na matatapos pa ang away. Sa madaling salita, labas sa ilong. Kaya ano? Kadalasan hindi naman talaga naayos yung problema. Maaring maging okay kayo at the moment, pero ilang araw lang ang makalipas, ganun na naman. Walang pinagbago. Worst is, lumalala pa lalo ang sitwasyon.
2. Sorry na, inaamin kong nagkamali ako. Ito yung pagsosorry na inaamin mo ang nagawa mong kasalanan. Walang halong pride, walang halong echos. Bukal sa loob. At sa pagsosorry mong yun, nakakaramdam ka ng bigat dahil nakagawa ka ng mali sa ibang tao o sa mahal mo. Yung may realization na hindi mo na ulit dapat gawin yun. Yung may pagsisisi. At meron kang sense ng pagbabago dahil hindi ka nagsosorry for formality lang.
Nagsosorry ka dahil alam mong nagkamali ka at nakasakit ka.Labels: thoughts
Friday, September 23, 2011 (11:34 PM)
Sleepless
Kumusta naman yung nag-away kami magdamag sa cellphone at hindi natulog. As in. Sa pagaaway namin, naghintay nalang kami ng umaga, ng 5am para magprepare for our 7am class. Yan aantok-antok tuloy kai sa klase. Grabe. Never ko na ulit gagawin toh. Ang sakit sa ulo. Buti nalang 5pm pa class ko tomorrow. Hay. Time to sleep.
Thursday, September 22, 2011 (10:35 PM)
Sama Ng Loob
Sa malaking bagay hindi ako mapasaya, pati ba naman sa maliit na bagay? Kitkat lang naman hinihiling ko wala pa. ang babaw, noh? Kitkat lang nagtatampo na ko kasi Kitkat lang di pa ko mabili. Sa halagang 10php. PangDOTA kasi lahat ng pera niya.
Hindi naman mahalaga sakin yung presyo, mahalaga sakin yung galing sa kanya. Dissapointing.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011 (7:50 PM)
Away To The Max
Grabe. Super away kami tonight. Nagsimula sa isang maliit na bagay hanggang sa lumaki na nga lumaki at naliko na ng naliko pinagaawayan namin. Ni hindi ko na nga maalala kung ano talaga yung ugat ng pagaaway namin ngayon. Umabot kami hanggang alas tres dahil lang sa pagaaway. Lagi nalang kaming ganto. Nakakairita na. This very thing is one of the reasons bakit parang gusto ko na i-give up itong relationship na `toh.
Ako gusto ko amuhin ako, magsorry at wag ako tigilan sa pagsuyo hanggang sa maging okay ako. Siya naman, gusto niya kasi isang sabi lang na bati na, dapat okay na kami agad. So, wala talagang mangyayari samin. Super opposite eh. Ayaw magbigayan. Ewan ko ba. Namura ko siya. Tapos pagsisihan ko na naman toh sa huli. Ano ba? Ano ba! Ano ba? Ano ba!
Monday, September 19, 2011 (7:08 PM)
Brain Before Heart
Gosh! Still Can't Decide. Ano ba? Kukunin ko na ba thesis ko and iwan si Gerome. Or hintayin siya at sabay kaming mahuli? I don't know. I don't know. Gulong gulo na ko. Please? Ano ba dapat kong gawin? Ano? Please? :|
Kasi kung di pa ko kukuha ng thesis, hindi ako sa March ggraduate. Kailangan pa ng isang sem. Magssacrifice ba ako? Or kunin na. Oh, please! Bakit kasi siya bumagsak eh!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 (4:20 PM)
Remembered.
Naku, mga 1am naalala rin naman pala niya na monthsary namin. Haha! Drama-drama pa ko.
Yes, gising pa kami. Nmmroblema pa kasi kami sa schedule namin. can't decide. Kukunin ko na ba ang thesis ko o hindi pa. Please, hindi ako makapagisip. Ano ba dapat? Hay.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011 (4:03 PM)
Pandesal ka ba?
So, just like the past months nakalimutan na naman niya na monthsary namin. Kakilig noh. Tapos eto, akala ko gumagawa na ng move. Kala ko bumabanat na. Yun pala hindi. Nakakainis lang sa kacorny-han. Hay. Nakakalungkot lang. KFine.
Ganun kasi talaga pag masyado ng kampante sayo. Hindi na mageeffort ARAW-ARAW na iparamdam sayo na mahal ka niya..
Ang sarap kasing isipin kapag ang boyfriend mo parang nililigawan ka parin araw-araw. Ang sarap isipin. Sana ako din may ganung boyfriend.
Monday, September 12, 2011 (12:40 AM)
I've Got A Feeling
I have this feeling na Gerome's family does not like me. They are all kind towards me but.. I have this feeling eh. Dahil mahigpit ako ay Gerome? Basta.. they don't like me nararamdaman ko. Or am I just getting paranoid? I don't know. Pero kadalasan ng kutob ko tama. Basta ito lang, kung ayaw nila.. Edi wag. Hindi ako magkakandarapa at pagsisiksikan ang sarili ko sa isang lalaki na ayaw ang pamilya sakin. Dahil in the end syempre lahat sila kailangan ko pakisamahan.
Sunday, September 11, 2011 (12:40 AM)
Shamefaced
Ngayong nahimasmasan na ko at narealize kong may mali sa nangyari kahapon na inatake ako dahil lang sa defense, minessage ko si sir. Sobrang nahihiya kasi talaga ko eh. Hay. :|
Sir, pasensya na po kahapon. Nadala lang po ng pagod at puyat kaya nagburst emotion. Sorry po talaga. Nahihiya po ako.
And sobrang thank you for always keeping our hopes up! You did not only become a teacher to us, but also an inspiration and an example to follow. We REALLY learned A LOT from you! Thank you!
Thursday, September 8, 2011 (5:29 AM)
Defense Drama
I was very confident about our system since I have finished it as early as second week of August. In fact, our professor is proud of us. Sabi pa niya, kaya ko na daw gumawa ng system if ever na bibigyan niya ko ng client.
But we failed to defend the system during the defense. I don't know what happened. Ma'am Franco questioned the expiration of the reservation. Akala niya hindi nageexpire. Kami naman dahil sa sobrang kaba, mali mali na sinabi. Ang masakit lang dun, nung tapos na yung defense pagcheck namin ng system ulit namin, nasa category naman ng expired yung pinaclick niya. Masakit lang kasi di niya na malalaman na tama system namin. Masakit lang kasi ilang linggo kong hindi natulog para dun tapos namin nadefend. Masakit lang.
At dahil sa sobrang bigat ng emotion ko at dala narin siguro ng puyat, pagod at stress.. Umiiyak ako habang nagtatanong ang panel. Then nag
breakdown ako right after the defense. Tapos inatake na ako. Grabe naman kasi. Pinaghirapan ko yun eh. And I know my codes very well. Bat hindi ko dinefend ng maayos! :|
Sobrang lungkot ng pakiramdam kasi alam mo yung feeling na feeling mo na-disappoint mo yung professor mo na proud pa naman sainyo. Yun yun eh. I have no face to face him. Today's really a long day! Thank God term break na.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011 (1:24 PM)
My New Pambahay Angry Birds Slippers
Wednesday, August 31, 2011 (12:31 AM)
Bouquet of KitKats, Please?
My all-time favorite chocolate, Kitkat. I've got a KitKat Fever. Super Craving.
Sunday, August 28, 2011 (9:55 PM)
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